Questions 2025

To email me, click the envelope at the bottom of any page. Once a month my replies will be posted here.

June

Dear Sir,
Firstly, I want to thank you for the many books you have written. As a boy I used to stay up late listening to James Whale when I knew you were on. Your books are some of the things I bought with my first wage as a Museum assistant back in the day. Assassin, Deadhead, Twisted Souls and Relics are my favourites.
Now, at half past forty with my credibility as a human being receding at the same speed as my hairline. I find myself stuck as a writer.
In those years ( sparing you the life story ) I was my mothers carer for six years before she passed, my father suffered a cardiac arrest then resurrected one hour later with a bewildered look on his face and a half decent sense of humour. I lost my other half to suicide after a wonderful seven year relationship. I had rolled around in many different careers like production lines, hotels for the rich and famous and briefly back at the museum for a second time before meeting my current partner when I was 37.
I moved from Scotland to Louth England and owned a restaurant for a while. ( a certain Russian fucked everything up with his invasion of Ukraine ) I've inherited two wonderful step children ( with the eldest as well as my other half both having ADHD ) not to mention the incoherent ramblings and mud slinging of their narcissistic father, who has tried to take her to court twice for parental alienation. He's a fundamentalist Christian, the type that like to dance with snakes n shit.
In all this time, I have been trying to get my book written. I believe I simply can't write unless life is quiet and even. But life is seldom ever quiet, hence the book taking so long. At one point, I even deleted it half way through and decided I wasn't a writer and I was going to apply for a factory job and just content myself with living the same day every day until I die. A massive weight fell off my shoulders that night and I was quiet happy to be honest. I had been dragging the book for four years at that point and was relieved to be done with it. I had the best nights sleep that night.
But fuck me, holy roly-poly shit show circus. I woke up with a burning desire and hunger to re-write the book. I woke up at seven am and by noon I had enough material in my head for a fucking trilogy. It is this trilogy I have been working on for the past three years.
As I near completion of the first book, I am struggling to figure out what is the best door to knock on in terms of publishing, self publishing, agents etc. As a debut writer so to speak, what would you advise yourself, if you could go back in time to the point where you had just written your first book and were looking for a publisher? In an era of shysters, gurus and insufferable AI. I'm at a loss as to where to begin. Plus, it doesn't help that I really, really, rrrreally, dislike people. They annoy the living shit out of me. I barely tolerate the wonderful souls with whom I share a house with. I prefer the company of cats and dogs to be honest. Every now and then I might catch '' modern '' music by Sam Smith or some such bollocks whilst in the car but then hurriedly switch it back over to Rime of the ancient mariner lest i lose my mind.
So if you could shed some light for me at this junction sir, I'd deeply appreciate it. I have been a fan of yours for many years now, and if it weren't for you and Lee Child, I would have never have survived the solitude of Covid. Which might sound strange coming from an introvert who hates people. But i'd miss the bastards if the world ended today.
Thanks again for your hard work over the years and I hope this finds you well and in good health.
Sincerely and with a fuck tonne of gratitude,
Nik MacLaughlan. AKA, semi professional king of the side quest and amateur arm chair bighead.

Hi Nik, many thanks for the message. That is one hell of a story, my friend!!! I can see what you mean about having enough material for a fucking trilogy lol... I just wish I could be a bigger help when it comes to getting you published. Obviously, things have changed so much since I first started its almost like a different industry. In those days I got myself a copy of The Writer's and Artists Year Book and went through it looking for a suitable publisher or agent. That would be my advice to you now to be honest. But I know publishers now occasionally do stupid fucking things like offering contracts to people dependent on how many social media followers they have. This is bullshit of course because not every follower is going to buy a book but the industry has got lazy too. So much of getting published is about luck. Other writers will tell you otherwise but it is, trust me. If you've got the right book in the right place at the right time... You'll be published. End of story. For now, Nik, get a copy of the book I mentioned above (or check it out online) and get a copy of your ms to a publisher who looks amenable. A newer publisher might be more likely to be looking for material. If there was a magic formula I could give you, Nik, I would. But, you have the most valuable thing any writer can have and that's passion. Send to a couple of publishers. Send to a couple of agents. Test the water. And never, ever fucking give up. Never believe that you won't make it. I know you're thinking “yeah, that's all right for you, you're published...” but I had 40 fucking rejections at the start. I know what it's like. And, by the way, hating everyone else in the world isn't a bad thing... LOL. After all, when you're a successful writer you'll be working alone anyway... 😊 So you go for it, Nik. Keep me posted with how you get on.

I just finished all the books in the series, will there ever be more? I need to know what happens to the Sledgehammers!
Dan Keller

Hi Dan, thank you for the message. I hope there are more books in the Sledgehammer series. There were originally meant to be ten so, hopefully, one day, I'll complete the collection and you can find out (and I can find out too) what happens to Kessler and his men. All the best.

Hi Shaun,
Please can you kill me, Mark Anthony Smith, in Slugs 3? I mentioned the original Slugs in my own story: 'Crown Of Slugs.' A man turns into a slug by method acting as he wants to overcome his phobia. In the end, he has his cock bitten off by a slug he's just mated with: apophallation.
Please kill me real good!
I'm currently listening to 'Breeding Ground' and I'm enjoying it even more than when I read it years ago. With that in mind, here are my title suggestions for 'Slugs 3':
1. Slithering Heights
2. Slide and Prejudice
3. Mucous Ado about nothing
Hope this helps. Can't wait for another Slugs outing.
Kind regards,
Mark Anthony Smith

I will certainly try to kill you off in SLUGS 3, Mark…I haven't done that for ages…lol…I once did a talk in Birmingham and put a piece of paper on the desk marked DEATHLIST. I then invited the audience to put their names down as potential victims in the next book. What I wasn't expecting was for some to actually fucking specify how they wanted to die!! Trust me, my mind is warped but even I couldn't fit in “death by psychotic face sitting nun…”

Hello, its just a simple mail telling you that its been maybe 10-15y I continue to search about "the midnight library"
This saga was really cool, i loved it.
I remember, when I was like 11yo my mom bringing me one of this book.
She was trying to make me read since my writing was strongly bad. (I'm French and i struggle with grammar, but thanks, i was good in math)
And i loved "chair de poule" (r.l stine) books !
I've read all of your books, we would go to the mall together and research for your book.
Years has passed, I'm sad that this saga is stopped.
But its okay, now, nobody would have came with me to the mall, mom is not here anymore, she passed away some years ago, world is just darker now, more than your books.
Thanks for your books, they were scary for some of them ( I remember each story!)
But all story was cool to read.
Thanks you to have been responsible of good memory with my mom, her happiness while she was buying me one of them and making the little girl i was so happy and thankful to have her.
Thank you, I hope you continue to write, and I wish you a good day, and night.
Thank you.

Hi Laura and many thanks for getting in touch. I really enjoyed writing the stories for the Midnight Library series. I don't think they do them anymore unfortunately. It was strange having to “water down” my style for younger readers but I loved it. I'm glad you enjoyed them too.

Right guys, that's it once again. Keep the questions coming because it's always good to hear from any of you. All the best until next time.

May

Hi Shaun
What do you think about TIKTOK, Only fans or any other shit, it is appalling, that girl who wants to shag a 100 guys, do they not have family who advise that is appalling behaviour. Yuk!! My beautiful Daughter is a firefighter, definitely not on the same money, but gives something useful back to society, I am so glad I raised her not to be a saint, believe me she knows how to swear, but a proper person. Looking forward to your next novel, again email me if, and when you are in London for tickets.
All the best mate
John Elliot

Hi John, great to hear from you again... I fucking hate TikTok and most social media because it allows a horde of untalented twats to pollute the world with their pointless lives and views. That fucking slag who wants to shag 100 guys a day I see is now “recruiting” younger girls to fuck alongside her. My disgust at this tart isn't some prurient Victorian type reaction to what she's doing it's the fact that she is making money without talent!!! And I don't consider taking 100 dicks in a day talent... sorry. I know what you mean about your daughter, John. I'm the same. My daughter is 29 and I consider myself very lucky she grew up with a mind of her own. The problem is (without going into a prolonged rant) that kids see these fucking no marks on social media, realize they're making money without any talent at all and want to copy them. It's understandable in a sad, pathetic way. Why not make dosh for doing fuck all? But they will grow up with no work ethic. A bit like every other fucking so called celeb. They're all whores, they just earn their money by different means... John, I will deffo e-mail you when I want to visit the Eye and I thank you once more for the offer. Take it easy.

Hi Shaun,
Right! On to the main business... The Slugs 3 synopsis and possible locations.
So, slugs could be given away in Happy Meals but you need to be aware of libel and trademarks. Could call them errr... Surprise Snacks, Jovial Munch or Fookin' Breakfast Box. I don't know. That's a shit idea - like the burgers.
What we need to do is invent a Mad Scientist who makes our titular molluscs into biological weapons for warfare/shits 'n giggles. There's the man/slug hybrid.
You could set it in a greengrocers...
That's it. I'm fresh out of hints and I'm not on your money! You'll have to do the leg work.
See ya,
Mark Anthony Smith

Hi Mark... love those ideas... you're more fucking warped than me you nutter... lol... I've started Slugs 3 and it's coming along nicely. Especially the bit with the slugs in happy meals... lol... if I use any of the ideas listed above, you're in for a cut of royalties you mad bastard. Take it easy, Mark.

Hi again Shaun,
Heh, glad you liked the title, feel free to use it!
So finally got around to watching the Slugs movie, not as bad as I was expecting after all the comments I'd heard, reminded me of an average Vipco movie (remember those video nasties? Driller Killer, SS Experiment camp, Demon spawn?) Still, I've seen worse!
I became aware of that book, 'Finish this, end of story' last week so went and got a copy. Think I'll give it ago (don't worry I won't inflict the result on you!) I know the winning one is on your site but won't read it till after I've had a go.
Think I'm being stalked by a copy of ‘Victims.' I wanted to get a copy to replace the one I lost in OZ and found a ‘very good condition, no marks or damage... ' copy for £3.50 online so bought it. Def not a good copy, creased, torn pages, stain damage... no reply from seller, and two days later found a mint copy in a charity shop for two quid. Got a refund from the site though. I gave the copy to my mate who also collected horror, then he went and snuffed it on boxing day and his family asked me to try and sell his books (3000 plus) to raise money for his daughter. Sold a lot but that Victims is back on the table next to me again, that one eye leering through the bandages like it's stalking its next victim...
So evil blizzard...
https://youtu.be/7hong-6luQU?si=4WFFc4HJ583WxMfI
https://youtu.be/UsjCHMylYhI?si=VYdcyuQdBC9eO649
https://youtu.be/m2fHXfwWOcg?si=PwGAr0V1PZI7dcrN
https://youtu.be/6yLstuR5J_Q?si=czoE_4FiuzvlK04E
Few links to get you going. Lots more around both live and studio. Last one starts with their wives and partners playing before they take over. Great bunch of lads always there for the fans played (with them couple of times too) and raise money at gigs for charity...
I await your thoughts eagerly!
Shakey

Hi Shakey, good to hear from you again. I'm glad you enjoyed SLUGS THE MOVIE. I've come to love it over the years. I think I was being a bit of a pretentious wanker at the beginning when I used to slag it off... lol... There's a really good documentary on Amazon Prime about video nasties which I watched last night which included all the ones you mentioned. You're right, Slugs was a bit like one of those. I'm currently working on SLUGS 3. Trust me, it will be just like the old days... lol... It's coming along nicely so far. Glad you finally got a copy of VICTIMS back (not so much the way you got it... sorry... ) That cover went through so many different incarnations believe me. I went down to the printers when it was published and signed 5,000 copies in 3 days! My fucking hand nearly fell off!!!
Thanks for the Evil Blizzard links, I will finally get around to having a look... honest... All the best, Shakey.

Hi Shaun,
I hope you're well. I'm a new fan. My partner brought me 5 of your books for valentines and I've read three and about to start the 4th “Erebus”. My first read was Relics, then Assassin followed by slugs. My last read will be victims. What would you recommend I follow on with? So far Assassin has been my favourite, I like the violence and brutality. I'm a very obsessive reader and your books have gotten me completely hooked. I plan to have these last two finished this weekend so would love to hear your thoughts on which to follow on with! Anyway, thank you for the work you have done, consider me a new fan for life!
Steph Chaney, 33, from Great Yarmouth!

Hi Steph, many thanks for your message. You partner sounds like a fine judge of books... lol... so glad you're getting into my stuff. I always thought ASSASSIN would make a great film but no one has ever had the balls to do it properly. If you're going to continue with my stuff (which I hope you will) I'd go for RENEGADES, NEMESIS, DEADHEAD and CHASE. If you still like me after those then...
By the way, Steph, I spent almost every holiday from the age of 8 right up to about 15 in Great Yarmouth... I love that place. I bet it's changed a lot now. I used to love the waxworks in Regent Street but I'm guessing it's not there anymore. The wax museum in HEATHEN (another recommendation) is based on it...

Hello.
I hope you are well.
I'm a recent convert to your books. I must say I am really enjoying them! Thank you very much for writing.
I am wondering whether you have ever written or intend to write a Science fiction story? I'd love if you did.
Thank you so much.
Kind regards.
Elena Conway

Hi Elena, good to hear from you. I'm really glad you're enjoying the books. I think the closest I ever got to Science Fiction was the novelization of The Terminator... I think the science side of it always scared me off. It takes too much intelligence... lol... You never know though, Elena, maybe one day...

Right you lot, many thanks again for your questions and your interest. Keep them coming. Just to let you know, I've started SLUGS 3 and it's going well so far. Next book out will be HOLLOW POINT with good old Sean Doyle again... later this year... keep your eyes peeled...